


The Hostage Exchange

by swamp_thing



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: M/M, What's Up Doc?, if the could just write klinger consistantly for two seconds i wouldn't keep thinking of these, post-episode, technically shippy but pretty gen too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25521076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swamp_thing/pseuds/swamp_thing
Summary: Based on the episode "What's Up, Doc?", mostly canon on that front. I just wanted to get in Klinger's head.“A patient is holding Major Winchester hostage, he’s trying to get to Ohio.” Father Mulcahy said in quiet desperation.Klinger’s heart rate spiked, he felt dizzy, he could barely process it.Oh god, no.
Relationships: Maxwell Klinger/Charles Emerson Winchester III
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	1. The Deescalation

A crowd could mean anything, good or bad. And hearing Ohio, he assumed the best. But his optimism was shattered more immediately and intensely than he ever could have predicted.

“A patient is holding Major Winchester hostage, he’s trying to get to Ohio.” Father Mulcahy said in quiet desperation. Klinger’s heart rate spiked, he felt dizzy, he could barely process it.  
 _Oh god, no._

“Well what are we doing sitting around here like a bunch of ducks?” Margaret demanded, “Someone go in there and get him!”  
The panic, the desperation, and the yelling came down on Klinger all at once. He had to do something. 

“Colonel, I volunteer.” He said, and without waiting for an answer, sprinted inside. He didn’t know what he was doing, and he wasn’t exactly trying to be a hero, but his ever present need to help in some way, and his urgent need to see the Major alive drove him into the room anyway.

“Stop!” he shouted, the door slamming open, “Take me! I’ll go with you!” The gun immediately turned on him. 

“Klinger, you moron.” He heard Charles mutter. It stung. Didn’t he understand what he was doing?

“Okay, take it easy,” He said, “I just want to talk…”

“Are you armed?” the gunman asked.

“Are you kidding, where would I put it?” He almost wanted to laugh, more overwhelmed than anything. 

“Did you get the chopper?”

“No,” Klinger replied, “I got something even better. Me!” 

Charles’ already desperate eyes shot to him. Was he really that crazy? He had questioned the corporal's sanity before, but he struggled to believe he would ever go this far unless he actually had a death wish. 

“What?” The young man asked.

“Take me instead of him.” Klinger explained. “I got your escape plan.” In his mind he pleaded for Charles to understand how terrified he was, why he was doing this. Right now, his worst fear was being killed, his second worst fear was that, alive or not, he'd never get to tell the Major any of what he wanted to. 

“I got my own plan.” The man snapped, flicking the gun at Charles. “A chopper to Soel, and a plane back to Ohio.” 

“I’m from Toledo!” He prayed he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt. He could barely help screaming as it was. “I know people there, I can make it easy for you!”

“Take him.” Charles urged. And yet more horrible feelings welled up in Klinger, but he continued to fight them back. “He’s got a plan! I would be lost in Ohio, take him, please, _please-_ ”  
As Chales inched behind him, he wanted to cry. He was more convinced every moment that he wasn’t going to survive this, and Charles didn’t care at all.  
“Okay, okay, get out of here!” The man practically shouted. “Anything’s better than you.”

Charles gave a forced laugh. “He’s right about that, eh Klinger?” Their eyes met for the first time in the whole ordeal, both frantic, both pleading. 

“Yes sir, anything.” in that moment he meant it. He had hoped to get the Major out more than anything, but he hadn’t exactly banked on him enthusiastically encouraging his kidnapper to take him. And suddenly he felt foolish for expecting better. 

“Thank you Klinger.” Charles hissed sarcastically. But Charles had felt the prick of venom, the betrayal in Klinger’s voice. As they shared another look, he felt slightly sobered. He realized what he’d said, he realized this wasn’t a ruse. The corporal was trying to save him. 

“Go on, get out of here.” Klinger said impatiently, equal parts panicked and ready to never see Charles’ face again, but Charles stuck out his hand, trying to make up for his anger too late.  
“Klinger, I appreciate your sacrifice for my safety,” he said hurriedly. “And I sincerely hope you survive his ordeal-”  
“Get lost!” the gunman yelled. And Charles scurried out the door.   
_I guess that’s it._ Klinger thought. _You’re welcome, Major._   
………………..  
The next couple hours passed agonizingly slowly. Still being absolutely terrified, and the gunman seeming easily distracted, Klinger talked, pacing. His heart was in his ears the whole time. He tried to keep talking non-stop, keeping both their minds occupied, praying someone else on the outside would have a plan, but gradually accepting he might be headed home with a gun to his head. It was better than nothing, he supposed. But slowly, a new opportunity seemed to present itself, the young man was losing blood, and losing consciousness. It seemed like a blessing, but Klinger didn’t let his guard down. He already knew he was in the presence of a level of crazy he could only dream of aspiring to, and wasn’t convinced if he tried to leave, the young man would bolt upright and shoot him. 

“Klinger?” He heard Potter’s voice from outside. “You still alright?” It was a liferaft, salvation. 

“Oh, fine sir, just fine!” he called back. _Get this kid out there._ His brain told him. _If he is faking it, don’t give him a chance to escape, or worse, shoot you._

A few minutes later, he managed it. The guy really was out cold, and slumping over Klinger’s shoulder into the open air, he fell to the ground. He still hadn’t stopped talking, but he could barely hear himself. Only looking at the man, lying on the ground did he start processing that it really was over. He stared through the body for longer than he meant to.

“You really are insane.” A voice said, breaking his trace. He looked over at BJ, who gave him a pat on the shoulder. “If they don’t give you a section 8 for that, they’re the crazy ones.”

“Yeah, well, it was worth a shot.” Klinger joked, so relieved he almost wanted to laugh. But he was still shaken, and didn’t know what else to say. It was then he looked around at the remainder of the small crowd and realized Charles wasn’t there. 

_He didn’t even stay to see if I would be alive when we came out…_

“I think I wanna go lie down.” He said. 

“I can imagine.” BJ replied. 

And Klinger headed stiffly towards his tent.


	2. The Aftermath

Klinger tried to calm himself down in his tent. It was nine o'clock in the morning now, he hadn’t slept, and his hands were shaking too hard to sew. He couldn’t stop thinking about how close he was to dying. He was already much closer than he’d like to be, so having a jumpy man holding a gun to his head wasn’t exactly something he could forget anytime soon. But he wasn’t afraid, not anymore.- He had walked out alive, after all. But after he had given himself up as a hostage to save the Major’s life, used himself as a human shield, barely anyone even acknowledged. _“Klinger, you moron”_ Charles’ voice echoed in his head. It seemed like they all really did think he was crazy, to the point of not realizing how scared he was.- Every day, and in that room, convinced he would never get to say goodbye to the strange little family he’d built. 

_Like they’d miss me, anyway._

No, right now, he was shaking with anger.

He begrudgingly decided to get dressed, pulling on his fatigues. He was miserable and didn’t feel very inspired. He settled for just a pair of earrings. He had already decided he wanted to be alone as long as possible when someone knocked on his door. It almost made him jump. 

“What do you want?” he called flatly.

“Klinger, it’s me.” He heard Charles’ voice through the canvas.

“Yeah?” Klinger barked.

“May I come in?” The question was surprisingly gentle. 

“Yeah.” Klinger resolved. He was still mad, but in spite of himself, he still had a deep desire to see Charles safe. He needed to know he was okay, even if Charles didn’t have the same concern for him.  
The surgeon ducked inside, looking calm but just as sleep deprived as Klinger. 

“You can sit if you want.” Klinger told him from his bunk, waving to a fabric-draped chair across from him. Charles sat down almost sheepishly. Klinger thought he still looked pale.

“I… I came to thank you.” Charles said. Klinger seemed to consider it, nodding. “I’m very glad you managed to escape unscathed.” 

“You didn’t seem to care before.” Klinger said, tiredly. 

“I thought, I mean it seemed very much like an escape plan.” said Charles. “You can forgive me for that?”

“Sir…” he remembered the early morning. It hurt even to think back on. “Sir, you _begged_ him to take me. I wish...”  
_I wish you cared. I wish anyone cared._ He thought, but he didn’t finish the sentence out loud. _Because I care._

Charles looked away. It was the first time Klinger had seen guilt on him before, it looked so out of place, but not unwelcome at the moment. 

“I am sorry.” He said quietly. It might just have been what Klinger wanted to hear, but he grabbed onto the words like a lifeline, and prayed they were sincere. “I have never been in such a horrifying situation in my life. And I thought you wanted to leave. I _believed_ you.-You might have been an actor for how well you were able to keep a straight face under such incredible pressure.” He took a breath before continuing. “I haven’t slept. I was trying to figure out how much you knew what you were doing."

"I did, sir." Klinger said. "Every second." He almost wanted to shout, but he was too tired.

"That was the conclusion I came to as well." said Charles. "But then another question began haunting me." He paused, seemingly trying to think of a good way to phrase what he was thinking. "Why?" he blurted somewhat unceremoniously. 

"Why what?" 

"Why would you rush in like that? To save my life? Why? We are not close, I'm not... I'm not even kind to you." Charles tried to look everywhere but Klinger's face, but ended up making uncomfortably long eye contact.

Klinger shrugged, but internally tried to figure out how much to tell the Major.

"I guess I'd do it for anybody." It was true, but not entirely forthcoming. Charles didn't look satisfied. "Just because _you_ wouldn't doesn't mean other people wouldn't." 

He was surprised Charles took the jab without retort. He really seemed to be serious about apologizing. 

"And..." Klinger trailed off deciding better than to finish, but Charles' eyes flicked back to his, expectantly. Klinger sighed. "And I have a soft spot for you, Major." 

Charles looked even more perplexed and flustered than before. 

"I... I don't understand."

"I mean," Klinger said, resigning to the confession. "I care about you, Major. Probably more than I should."

"Max," Charles still seemed so lost. "Is this a confession of... infatuation?""

"Something like that." Klinger said quietly. 

Charles stood up. Klinger expected him to storm out, but he simply paced the small room.

"I have to assume this is a joke," he said at last. "Another ploy of some kind for me to get you out."

Klinger shook his head. "I'm too tired for that, Major." He shifted on his cot. "You wanted my answer, now you have it."

"Klinger..." his voice sounded so feeble, it made Klinger feel sorry for him. "I don't understand anything about you. Your optimism, your means of expression, and least of all your attraction... _to me._ It is all an enigma to me."

_Damn it._ Klinger thought. _There it is again, that human side under all the ice. I'd do anything to see it more._

"Well, don't sell yourself short." he said, standing up to meet the taller man. "Besides, it's not so hard. It's just being myself, you know?"

"That sounds _extremely_ difficult." Charles said.

Klinger softened, even smiling a little at last. 

"Let me help you then. To understand, I mean." 

Charles stood, still unsure for a minute. "Are you sure?" He asked. From the residual stress, lack of sleep, and his new state of venerability, he felt his hands shaking.

"Of course. I want to, it's why I offered." He smiled. "And you owe me one, right?"

"I certainly do." Charles said quietly. "I promise I will not take your kindness for granted again."

Klinger took his hands to stop them from trembling. Somehow, in one brief jolt, he felt calm again. For the first time in last twelve hours they both felt safe.

**Author's Note:**

> MASH obviously has consistency problems, duh, water is wet, but it bugs me that sometimes Klinger gets to be someone who's optimistic impulsive because he's deeply afraid of dying there, but then sometimes has literally no self-preservation instict and seems actually crazy? (He seriously could have been shot so easily here) so that was a big reason I sort of wanted to re-frame this episode, but also stateofintegrity sold me hard on Charles and Klinger, so this was obviously a good opportunity for that too.


End file.
